Fire and Ice
by eastsideclassic
Summary: Some say the world will end in fire; some say in ice. from what I've tasted of desire I hold with those who favor fire. But if it had to perish twice, I think I know enough of hate to know that for destruction ice is also great and would suffice.
1. Limits

I held onto Bella's hand as I drove from the reception area back to the house. I absentmindedly played with the ring on her finger, keeping my eyes fixed, for the most part, on her. I hadn't thought she would enjoy herself as thoroughly as she did, and I was extremely pleased at that fact. I was also very sure that if I did have a heartbeat, it would have stopped when she walked down that aisle to my side.

I cut the engine and walked out of the car and opened her car door. We were _married._ As much as I knew Bella hated it, and I hated whatever made her uneasy, I couldn't help but be elated at the fact that she was now all mine. I smiled as I took her hand and helped her out the car. She had been uncharacteristically graceful all evening, and as I took her hand, I realized I spoke too soon. She tripped and blushed, and I could not help feeling amused as I grabbed onto her and shifted her upright. She gave me what was supposed to be an annoyed face. This just made me smile more.

We walked into the house, where Carlisle and the family were already waiting. They hadn't wasted any time on getting ready, I noted.

Emmett had suggested, in less than a civilized manner, that they leave for the weekend; nowhere too far, just up to Denali to visit Tanya. I held back a chuckle as Alice began to bombard Bella with questions.

"Bella," she all but sang, "How did everything turn out to you? Did I go completely overboard? Are you happy?"

_Of course she's happy,_ I thought to Alice, bemused.

_Yet you wouldn't really know would you,_ she smiled to herself.

I sighed lowly and resisted the urge to roll my eyes. She really bothered me sometimes. I looked at Bella as we waited for her response. It took her the length of about five human heartbeats—but I was used to her slow responses now. They didn't seem to drag out as much anymore.

She looked bemused, like she was enjoying some sort of private joke with herself, and I felt that familiar pang of annoyance that I couldn't be in on it too.

"Everything was amazing Alice," she gushed, as her entire face lit up, a pale pink. The sweetest pink I'd ever seen. "And yes, of course you went completely overboard, and I can't thank you enough. For once."

I nodded slightly to Rosalie as she contemplated giving Bella her wedding present. She had such a simple mind at times, it bothered me.

She walked agonizingly slowly toward Bella to give her the unwrapped silver box. I raised my eyebrow at her, questioning its lack of decorating.

_Do you want Jasper to snap off again_, she thought to me.

I looked at her appraisingly. She liked Bella so much more than she would ever admit.

"I didn't think you would want wrapping paper on it; we don't want anything like…before," she finished, smiling slightly.

I looked at Bella out the corner of my eye, and heard her heart speed up slightly. I saw confusion, then almost instantly gratification flash across her face as she smiled back at Rosalie, laughing uneasily.

"Thanks, Rosalie," she smiled. She looked like heaven. My eyes roamed her face, and I knew that if I had a heart, it would be leaping around in my chest for the adoration I held for her. Bella. My Bella.

_God, you're so bad at hiding emotions when it comes to her,_ I head Emmett's thoughts.

I looked at him, narrowing my eyes.

_Just tell us to get the hell out already, and do her like you want to,_ he thought again, challenging me.

I just growled low enough for him to hear me. A warning.

I heard him laugh to himself.

"Welcome to the family, Bella," Carlisle smiled as he came forward to hug Bella.

"We're so glad you're finally a Cullen," Esme beamed at her. Esme always had a soft spot for Bella. She knew I would be with Bella before I wanted to accept it. I couldn't help smiling as Bella's face rose with elation. She stepped back slightly to look at all of them, admiringly.

_Yes, love_, I thought to myself. _This _is_ your family now._

"Me too," she assured Esme. "But can I _please_ get out of this dress and shower. It's getting hard for me to breathe."

_That's not the only thing that makes it hard for her to breathe, eh Edward, _Emmett laughed in my head.

I would not give him the satisfaction tonight. Tonight was about Bella.

"Oh, Bella! I forgot, your clothes are upstairs in Edward's room," Alice said to her.

She came forward and gave Bella a hug. As did Emmett, Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie and Jasper.

"We probably won't be here when you get out of the shower, so I figure we should say goodbye now," explained Alice.

"Where are you going?" Bella demanded, her voice hitching slightly; enough for us to notice.

"We," Alice said, indicating to her, and everyone else except for the two of us, "are going to visit Tanya in Denali for a weekend."

"Oh," she said. "Have fun."

"Don't worry so much, Bella," Carlisle added, smiling at her. "We'll be fine."

"Okay," she said slowly, looking at me for the first time since we entered the house.

I was already looking at her as she turned her head to face me, and I was floored by her beauty. Her eyes were a creamy milk chocolate; I wondered if I told her that enough. Her skin was flushed slightly, and I could smell her delicious scent as she looked at me with what I could only call adoration. I returned that look willingly. She frowned, and I immediately closed the small space between us and put my arm around her warm side. She was so soft.

"Everything is going to be fine, Bella," I reassured her, though I knew she didn't really need reassuring.

"Okay," she said back simply, still looking at me.

In that time, the rest of the family had gotten their belongings and were waiting to leave.

"Well, we're off," smiled Carlisle, as he put his backpack on. The rest of the family followed. "Have fun you two," he added, sounding a lot like Charlie.

They walked out the door and into the night.

Bella turned to me and eyed the gift in her hand, as if she expected it to bite her.

"Open it," I said to her, smiling.

She slid off the bow and opened the box. Inside there was a long, thin golden chain, and a locket. It was small, and intricately made, with two roses intertwined with one thorn in the middle. The middle of each rose had a small gemstone in it, one a topaz and one a sapphire. One for her and one for me. Us, our lives and fates intertwined by one thorn—one choice.

I heard her gasp as she opened the locket and found a picture of the family that she was now a part of on one side, and a picture of us on the other. It had been taken tonight. I could tell she was trying to think back to when someone from the family had taken a picture of us, coming up blank.

"Do you like it," I whispered to her.

"I love it," she half sobbed. She amazed me. "Will you put it on," she asked.

"Of course, Mrs. Cullen," I replied lithely. I would do anything for her, although I noted to myself, as I undid the clasp and fastened it around her neck, this wasn't really much of the anything I constituted. I placed a kiss on her neck at its warmest spot, and felt her chill. In return, it gave me small goosebumps.

Bella always did things to me that I did not anticipate.

She turned to me and rotated till her face was buried in my shirt. She wrapped her arms around my waist, and I knew if I wasn't so hard, I would melt. I was fully aware that I was surrounded by Bella, and it was beautiful. She was warm and soft, and smelled so intoxicating. I felt my head swim at the potency of it. I wrapped my arms around her waist in return, and buried my face in her hair, blowing cool air onto the top of my scalp, causing her to shiver. I could feel my eyes burning irritably, and I realized that I was crying, or as close to it as I would get.

Pure venomous tears of joy.

I blinked, and lifted my head as she looked up at me, smiling stupidly. I looked at her with the only warning I could give her, that this was her last chance she could run, and also that I wanted her more than anything I had ever had in my existence, and before I knew what I was doing, I crashed my lips against her in the only way I knew how. With pure need.

I was so irresponsible.

It took her a few moments, then her lips were pressing right back into mine, her hands roaming up my back; it was all I could do not to groan into her mouth, as my own hands found their way into her silky tresses.

No, I definitely did not tell her how much I appreciated her enough. Her lips were so warm and soft. I could feel her blood pulsing, rushing up to her lips and her face, consuming us both, and I found no desire for that; only for her, for this. She dipped her tongue onto my bottom lip and swept it across in a line, feeling the smooth surface.

So she was planning on killing me tonight.

She tasted so wonderful, I didn't understand it, and I could feel myself begin to lose the already limited amount of oxygen I possessed. Not that I needed oxygen, technically.

But with Bella, I needed a lot of things I usually went without.

Then I did it. I tugged on her tongue and slid it into my mouth, in a pull that demanded she not pull away. I had never done this before, we had never done this. Under all other circumstances, save for one, a few months ago, I was always the one to end things, and control myself.

Never Bella.

She never pushed me too far past my limits. Tonight, I wanted all of her, in every way. She physically tasted so far better than I imagined. Smelling her scent, no, that was no comparison to the feel of her tongue against mine, mixing our flavors together in a frenzy of scent. It was too much.

I couldn't think.

She gasped, and jerked her head back, finally running out of air.

My eyes snapped open as I saw her curse herself silently. I tried to gain back some of my senses as I watched her argue with herself, wonder whether that had actually just happened, or if she was yet again, imagining things.

No, it definitely happened.

Why had I done that? Put us both in danger that way? Was my want for her that great? I thought over that possibility for a full second as I came to my very solid conclusion. Of course it was. My face visibly hardened in frustration at her, for pulling away and at myself for allowing it in the first place. She pulled back a little to look at my face better, and I held fast to my grip on her. I didn't want to let her go. Not now, not ever. She looked at me with wide eyes, and I turned my head, narrowing my eyes at the wall as I tried to regain my thoughts.

"What," she started, but I stopped her.

"I'm sorry," I said, slightly agonized. "I should have controlled myself better."

"I don't mind," she said, sounding dazed.

Oh, Bella.

I gave her a hard look, even though I wasn't really into it, and smiled slightly.

"I know," I said. "That's the problem."

She nuzzled her face into my shirt and sighed. I breathed in her air and was instantly dazed. I could get used to this.

"Go shower, Bella" I said suddenly, releasing my grip on her.

"Why," she asked, confused.

I needed to clear my head, and gear myself to be able to restrain from devouring her in full on throes of passion. I didn't tell her this.

"You said less than ten minutes ago that you wanted to get out of this gown and shower," I pointed out.

"Oh, I guess I …forgot," she replied shyly.

I smiled at her again, and lifted her up into my arms in the same moment. I all but ran to my room, sitting her down at the foot of my king sized bed.

"I could have walked," she scolded me.

I chuckled to myself as I said, "You could have. But I decided to take a more convenient mode of transportation," locking my eyes on her four inch heels.

She looked down and smiled wryly. She was an angel.

"Alice left your things over there," I motioned to the black couch that she indignantly took to sleeping on when I went hunting and Alice "kidnapped" her for a weekend.

She took off my shoes, and walked over to it, rummaging around for pajamas and toothbrush. What she found, I knew were definitely _not_ her pajamas, but they still looked incredibly sexy, and I felt that familiar tug near my center as I watched her bend over the clothes looking frustrated. She pulled out a silk powder blue camisole with matching shorts, and underwear. I could tell she was silently cursing Alice, but she would thank her in the end. Alice knew what her brother liked. Although, I liked anything if it was on Bella.

I walked over to the stereo and played a favorite CD of Bella's. The Once Soundtrack, which was undoubtedly a favorite in my century's time. She loved this song. I crossed the room back to the bed and closed my eyes, shifting my focus between Glen Hansard's voice and Bella's steady heartbeat. I opened my mouth slightly, and I could barely breathe in her scent.

She was heroin, and I was so far past addiction.

I heard her heart jump, and I could tell she was looking at me. I could feel her eyes searing into me, like fire. She smiled as I opened my eyes to look at her, bemused and slightly frustrated as to what she was thinking as she just stood there, staring.

She smiled sheepishly as she walked out the room and to the shower.


	2. Control

I listened as Bella padded back down the hall from the bathroom. It was a good thing we even _had _a bathroom, for all the use most of us got out of it. Alice spent a wealthy amount of time in front of a mirror, though it always bemused me that she was actually less concerned about her looks than Rosalie. I swiftly changed into a pair of cashmere pajama bottoms Esme had given me last Christmas, and a plain black t-shirt.

Bella joined me in the bed as I lay there, holding my arm out for her to lay herself next to me. She splayed her arm around my waist, and leaned her head on my shoulder. I didn't let how sexy she looked in that blue camisole set go unnoticed.

I relaxed, closing my eyes, breathing in her scent as I listened to her heart beat steadily. She giggled.

"What's so funny," I asked, still keeping my eyes shut.

"Nothing," she said, sighing. She turned to nudge her face into my neck, making me begin to slowly go crazy with the intoxication that breathed Bella.

I pulled on her arm a little, shifting my body, so she was almost lying completely on top of me. At the same moment I pulled her arm, I tugged on her leg too, pulling it up to my waist, as her arm gripped my stomach. I could hear her breath stop as I let go of her arm and leg in another swift moment. It took about two seconds.

"Are you alright," I asked, concerned. I could tell she was surprised, but I didn't want to scare her. I looked at her face intently as I waited for her reply, hoping for truth.

"Fine," she replied, weakly. She didn't _sound_ too fine. She looked like she was about to faint, but the blush that crept upon her cheeks as I continued to gaze at her let me dismiss the overreactions that threatened to take over me.

I ran my hands into her damp hair as I asked her, "Was it as bad as you thought it would be?"

"No," she admitted finally. "I actually enjoyed it, reception and all."

I sighed happily. "Good," I said. I didn't doubt that she had a pleasant time; I just rather hear it from her, than hear it in Alice's mind, or see it on her face.

"I can't believe you invited Jake, Edward," she said, frowning.

"He deserved a choice, Bella," I replied, suddenly. I had desperately hoped this would not have come up. We had, until this point, quietly avoided the subject of Jacob Black, werewolf _extraordinaire,_ and an extraordinarily annoying pain in my ass. And it takes a lot to make a vampire hurt.

I didn't want to make Bella any more worried about the wedding so I hadn't told her anything about inviting Jacob to the wedding, although I knew deep down she was glad I had.

"What do you mean, 'a choice'," she demanded.

I continued to stroke her hair as I found the right words to explain why I had done what I did.

"As much as the d—he irritates me," I began, almost slipping, "I understood that even if you had gone the other way, and it was you and he getting married, I would want the choice to be there. I would want to be able to know that I could freely choose if I did or did not want to show up, be in the wings, if you will. For your sake," I added as an afterthought.

And it _was_ all for her sake, was it not? Here I was, even in the events of doing something for someone else, being extremely selfish. Knowing that there was a very large, very obvious chance that Jacob Black would love to keep the small amount of pride he had left and escape—far, far from Bella, and the irrevocably bad decisions she had made that would alter the course of her eternity.

"You knew he wouldn't come," she asked, though I could hear her hiding another question that she pushed to the side.

I hesitated longer than usual on my answer. I didn't lie to Bella, but for the first time, I wondered if it would be better than the truth.

No, the truth is always worth a thousand times more than any lie.

"Yes," I finally answered, sighing.

"And that made you feel better about inviting him," she said slowly, trying to understand. "Because you knew he wouldn't show anyway."

"That didn't make me feel better, Bella," I said, my voice getting hard, despite my efforts to control them.

Even though she was right.

Even though part of me was lying.

The ugly, monstrous, jealous side, that didn't want Jacob Black within 1,000 feet of her at any given moment. The part of me that was completely and disgustingly irrational.

I explained the more rational argument. The one that I made up later, after I sent out the invitation then broke two trees and a rock at the sheer stupidity of it.

"I was…worried he would show and then do something desperate," I tried, softening my voice, "In a last vain attempt to get you to stay, but I didn't do it because I knew he wouldn't show, therefore inflating my already smug ideas of my gain and his loss."

That is why I did it, right? Because I thought he would do something desperate? I didn't know. It just felt…_inhuman_ not to. Wrong.

"Oh."

We were silent for a while, and I continued to stroke my Bella's hair while she blew warm breaths onto my icy skin. I watched her tease my skin, as each breath elicited a patch of goosebumps in that particular swatch of skin.

She finally looked at me, and said, "What?"

"Are you sure you want to do this," I asked, uncertain of myself for the billionth time since meeting her.

"Do what," she asked, confused.

I hesitated, not knowing how she would take my next question.

"This," I stated as simply as I could, gesturing to us. "Be with me. Forever."

For a moment I let the doubt that clouded my mind show on my face, before I readjusted my face into an unreadable expression. I shouldn't be so insecure.

She blinked, as I let the question seep in. I could see her thinking my question through, deciphering what it really meant, and I could see her giving me the reaction that I feared almost as much as rejection.

"Yes," she replied, her voice harder than I would have imagined her capable of. I didn't blame her, I was dampening the mood. How selfish could I be?

"Why did you say it like that," I asked, confirming my suspicions.

"Why did you even bother to ask," she shot back, annoyed.

"I wanted to know," I said. She was beautiful when she was bothered. "I didn't want you to feel like I was pushing you into something."

She sighed.

"Edward, how many times in this lifetime am I going to have to tell you that you don't push me into anything? I wanted this," she said, gesturing to us. "I want _us_. Forever. There's close to nothing that I've never been more sure of in my life."

"What about Charlie, and Renee, and everyone," I asked, grabbing for straws, in a last vain attempt to give her back everything I had taken from her.

"What about them," she asked. "They will be fine. Nothing is going to happen to them. They know I love them…I just want to be with you more," she finished.

I let go of her and slid out of the bed.

"Where are you going," she whispered, looking pouty.

I looked at her as I crossed the room.

"Nowhere, love," I replied, smiling.

I could hear her sit up as I unlatched the metal hinging on my south facing wall and pulled down the metal sheets that protected the glass wall. Her heart lurched as I lifted my hand and displayed a small portion of my stomach. The most absurd things got her going.

I needed to be near her. I crossed the room in two strides, turning out the light as I went. Moonlight flooded into the room, illuminating her milky skin, making my head spin.

I lay over the covers to keep her warm as she faced me, laying her head on my chest and conforming her body to fit my hard one.

"Can you please get under the covers," she asked me, a bit too innocently.

I complied, however, and shifted my body against hers, inhaling her scent. She put her arm around my waist and looked up at me. I looked back at her, searching her eyes for the emotions they so frequently displayed. This was the most adherent way to see what she was beginning to formulate in her mind, and it drove me crazy to not know the exact thoughts that crossed her brain. She didn't move. She didn't blink. I found it hard to believe she was even _thinking _anymore.

She reached up and began to trace my face with her warm hand, and I did the same. I committed the already memorized contours to mind; her smooth forehead, her defined cheekbones, her small nose, her perfect, full lips. I soaked it all in, and reveled in her absolute beauty. She never saw herself for what she was worth. In the back of my mind, I knew she never would.

I looked at her, and before I knew it, her lips caught mine in a light embrace. I pulled away to look at her, making sure she was really here, and then caught hers again, in a gentle, synchronization. She crushed her body against mine, and my body burned with the pleasure that overtook it.

Her warmth to me was as close to human desire as I would get, but it was so much more. As a vampire, everything was so much more; human feelings and thoughts, amplified and a thousand times more urgent than they should be. I was so easily overcome with all that was Bella.

As I opened my mouth slightly to deepen the kiss, she slid her tongue out again, and swept across my bottom lip. I exhaled slowly, going agonizingly mad, and I could taste her breath on my tongue. God, she tasted like heaven.

And I was losing my mind.

Desire and temptation coursed through my veins as my hand found her hair and the other ran lightly down her arm, across her flat stomach to her tiny waist, then down her hips, stopping there. It burned my fingertips, but it was the most desirable burning I'd ever feel. She pulled her tongue back into her mouth, as all pretenses began to exit my body.

As much as I knew she needed air, I needed _this_ more. I darted my tongue over her lips, hungrily seeking to taste the smell that was burning my nose, and my throat, making me want her even more, and swept it across there three times ending in the center of her bottom lip. She mimed what I did earlier, and pulled my tongue into her mouth.

I died.

My lips crashed urgently into her as our tongues danced, and all coherent thought escaped me finally. As she pulled away for much needed air, my kisses didn't stop. I wanted her all over me, inside of me; I wanted to envelop her completely. I shifted down, and began trailing kisses from her cheek, down her neck to the base of her throat, where I felt her pulse at its strongest and back up, creating a train of kisses that left me dizzier than I already was.

I could feel her breathing raggedly, and it didn't matter, because I was breathing just as heavy, save for the loud noises of breath escaping her throat. She grabbed lightly onto my hair, and tugged me back up to face her, and urgently sought out my lips with her own. I allowed her, because I wanted it just as bad as she did. And I wasn't afraid to get it anymore. I trusted us completely.

"Bella," I growled into her mouth, breathing hard. I was losing control, drifting into a sweet lull of passion.

I just wanted her, all around me.

She pressed her lips more firmly into my mouth and her body closer to mine. My arm shifted off her hip and traveled down her leg to her knee, then stopped at her calf. I kneaded the flesh there for a moment, savoring the feeling of the slight muscle, then grabbed her leg underneath, and pulled it over my hip, shifting my weight in the process. She ended up on top of me. And she was extremely hot.

I didn't realize this shift would place her directly on top of that area of my body, and I didn't know if I would really be able to handle it. She didn't give me time to think it through.

She abandoned my mouth, much to my chagrin; I growled lightly, and she began to kiss my neck. She flurried kisses to the hollow at my throat, and then back up, stopping only to dart her tongue out at the base where my ear connected to my neck.

I hissed, and she giggled lightly. She was killing me. I was trying so very hard to control myself and she was doing a very good job of encouraging the urge to rip off her clothing and ram myself inside her.

"Bella," I growled again, my voice tight.

"What," she whispered against my ear.

My ears are sensitive—she wasn't playing fair.

"You're killing me," I growled quietly, gripping her around her waist with one hand and running my hand down her side with the other.

"But you're already dead," she teased, lacing her fingers into my hair.

"There's death after death, you know," I said quietly, slightly breathless.

She craned her neck to look at my face, and I assumed I looked like I was trying very hard to control myself. Because I was.

I could see the reflection of my eyes in hers, and they were a smoldering, black ice. I didn't get that look in my eyes before I met Bella. It was one of unfiltered want, hunger and dangerous desire. For her.

"Is this too much for you, Edward?" she asked slyly, playing on the one weakness she knew she had power over at this moment.

"No," I said, looking at the ceiling, narrowing my eyes, trying to deny myself of the pleasure that was coursing through my veins.

She looked at my, raising an eyebrow, disbelieving, and I looked down at her and said quietly, "yes."

"Do you want to stop," she asked, frowning.

Usually, I was the one to pull away, disentangle himself and stop pushing the boundaries. I wanted nothing of the sort tonight. In fact, I wanted to stop discussing this, and continue where we left off, no matter how high and dissociated it made me feel.

"No," I sighed, catching her by surprise. "I just…you're making me want you."

"Don't you already," she asked, confused.

"Yes," I said slowly, trying to explain without crashing my lips against hers. "I can usually ignore your scent; it's always there, but it's easier to push it aside. But, you're…consuming me," I added, struggling for words. "It's so much. You're making me want to kill you."

"I don't care," she said.

"I do."

She was absurd.

"So then, control yourself," she said, finally breathing normally.

"I'm trying," I said, frustrated. "But, I think I might be the one to combust before this is over."

She replied by, for the third time, pressing her lips to mine.

_Oh, God, _I thought, groaning quietly.

"Be good, Edward," she said softly, murmuring into my mouth.

I responded with what I could only call a purr.


	3. Lullaby

I nudged Bella's head forward, and began to suck on the flesh in my favorite spot.

Her neck.

I could feel her blood pulsing at an astonishing pace—far faster than I had ever felt it before, and I got a sudden urge to take her right then and there.

Why did I torture myself this way? Of course, love always makes you do crazy things.

I needed a distraction.

"So," I murmured against her flesh, laughing at my own sadomasochism, "do you still object to this bed?"

"Uhhnn," she replied.

I knew that I was making Bella lose control, but that seemed only fair, especially with what she was doing to me.

I began darting his tongue out again, tasting her flesh, and I almost died from the pleasure that shot through me. Why was she so incredibly luscious, so sweet and amazingly intoxicating?

"The bed," I prompted again, distracting myself, keeping my patience in check. "Objections?"

"It's…" she said, gasping, clutching my upper arms with what I realized for Bella to be abnormal amounts of strength. I could almost feel it.

"It's…," I impelled, distracting us further by shifting my mouth to her supple earlobe, and kissing it there.

"Wonderful," she finished exasperatedly.

"Hmm," I said, smiling.

She shifted down, capturing my lips in her and swiftly seeking to place herself as close to me as possible. I slowly began to shift us sideways, grabbing onto her leg to stabilize us. She was so incredibly hot, every touch left my body tensing and wanting more. I rolled us over cleanly, until I was hovering over her, massaging her lips with mine. I was so close to being completely bent on passion and only passion, tuning out all other emotions and rational thought that I was almost too preoccupied to ensure that I didn't press down on her too hard. As I calculated the correct amount of distance to put between my chest and hers, she arched her back upwards and I pressed don a bit further, pinning her to the bed.

"I love you, Bella," I murmured.

"I love you, too," she sighed.

I looked into her eyes and I realized that I had never, in my existence, known what I existed for. And as I lay here in bed with my Bella, discovering her and discovering myself, I realized why I was alive, or here, anyway.

It was all for her. All for this.

I had never indulged myself in any physical or emotional passions in my life, eternal or otherwise, until I met her. She was my first everything; my first love, my first hope, my first glimmer at the chance that everything would indeed fall into place, that my existence would mean something—and for that, I owed her everything. If only she knew she was the reason I kept going everyday.

She was the reason I survived.

She made me whole.

"I promised we would try," I said quietly, my eyes reflecting a black fire, not with frustration as usual, or hunger in _that_ sense, but with what I knew was unnatural and full-fledged desire for Bella.

She hesitated.

"Yes," she answered, whispering, looking into my eyes, which were softening under her stare.

I reared back and sat up on my knees, and fluidly pulled my shirt over my head. Her eyes locked on my chest, and she stared at it while I looked at her, again wanting to know what she was thinking. I leaned over her again, and she reached up to trace me like she had never seen me before.

"You're beautiful," she murmured.

I chuckled, and began to run kisses from her cheek, to her ear, down to her neck, and the base of her throat to her shoulders. My favorite path to take, touching on all my favorite parts of her. Bella sighed and tangled her hands in my hair, rubbing little circles and teasing it slightly. It felt agonizingly good. Her skin was so hot underneath me, and I felt her shiver.

"Cold," I questioned into her skin, I hadn't thought through what such close contact would do to her.

"Hot," she said back.

I abandoned my place on her neck and moved back up until I was inches from her face. She locked her eyes on mine and my breath raced a bit more.

I could see my reflection in her eyes, and my gaze was met with a completely stupid face. I had this ridiculous impish grin, and my eyes were the softest I had ever seen them. My head swam with the intense amounts of love I felt coursing through me.

I reached my hands up and ran my fingers along her shoulders, down her small arms, across the bottom of her camisole and tugged up, lightly. She lifted her head to allow it free, and tossed her shirt on top of my own. I turned my attention back to her flat, bare stomach and chest, save for her bra.

She was far too overdressed.

I smiled to myself as I marveled in her beauty. I began to run my fingers across her stomach, along the sides to the swell of her soft breasts and across to her neck, then back down the center.

"So beautiful," I sighed quietly, although I knew she could hear me. "So soft."

Bella lay there staring up at me, and I marveled over her exquisite beauty. I dipped my head to the spot where her neck met her chest and began trailing kisses down the valley between her breasts. She tasted so good.

Despite how cold my lips were, I could feel her getting very hot. She tugged on my hair to get me to face her, and then brought her head up to meet my lips.

My lips crashed into hers and my bare stomach collided with her skin, sending millions of jolts of electricity through my body as I struggled to not rip off her bra. She gasped at the contact, and locked my right leg behind my thigh. I put my hand underneath us and rolled us back over. I continued to massage our lips together furiously as she ran her hands along my sides.

She disentangled her lips from mine, and lowered her head to the spot where my neck met my throat. She trailed kissed down my chest to my stomach and back up. I felt an unfamiliar tug toward my center, and I became even more aware of every touch.

When she got to where my pulse point would have been, if I had blood coursing through my veins, I groaned audibly. I was going to die, right here. Neither of us were expecting this reaction. I could hear her heart leap wildly, and she snapped her neck up to look at me. I squeezed my eyes shut, and I could sense her smiling to herself.

"Are you alright," she asked me, smiling smugly.

"I'm fine," I said slowly, gaining enough will power to roll us back over and reassuming my position hovered over her, removing my pants in the same stroke.

"How did you…" she began.

_Oh, ye of little faith, my love._

"I am a vampire, Bella," I stated teasingly.

She looked at me and let her eyes roam down my body. Her eyes stopped when she reached the V that led to the part of me that no one ever saw_._ I noticed her eyes widen and I couldn't help feeling oddly pleased that she reacted in such a way.

It was sexy.

"See something you like," I whispered quietly, in my most seductive voice.

"Um," she said, quietly.

I stared at her as little tremors of panic began to roll down my spine.

"What is it, Bella," I asked, concerned.

She looked up at my face and felt the heat rush to my cheeks.

"It's just," she began, looking like she was struggling for the proper words.

"Just what, love," I asked, curious.

"It's just…" she started again. "Big." She finished, blushing harder than I had ever seen before.

I relaxed, and could not help laughing loudly as any former feelings of panic dissipated.

"I'm sorry," I said.

I leaned into her and captured her lips with mine, caressing them softly. She responded by pressing hers to mine, deftly seeking release there. My hands ran along her sides and down to her shorts, and they hovered there. She moaned an invitation into my mouth, and I tugged lightly at them and they too, were discarded.

My eyes locked on hers, the question burning into her eyes and she nodded. Biting her lip in anticipation, she closed her eyes as I tugged her underwear off, too. I gasped, and her eyes flew open.

She was pure, unadultered sex.

I was looking at me through her eyes, and my eyes had turned back into that black fiery color.

I crushed my lips against hers, and pressed my body as close to her as was possible. My penis grazed against her, and I hissed, while she groaned. The sensation it left behind was a ice cold burning that I couldn't describe.

I just knew I needed her as close to me as possible, as soon as possible. As I continued to kiss her, she rammed her tongue out into my mouth and reached behind herself to unclasp her bra. She struggled to remove it and press her body more firmly against mine, simultaneously. I pushed down on top of her, and she contoured to me perfectly.

"Edward," she began, as I shifted and ended up right at her entrance. "Please."

I looked her in the eye, and I positioned myself to enter her. I began to push forward and Bella gasped loudly as I started to enter her.

Nothing could prepare me for the millions of things I was feeling.

I stilled myself as I tried to regain control of the thousands of instincts that threatened to overtake me.

Bella, being as impatient as she is, tried to move against me to push me deeper into her. I held onto her arm and stilled her. Did she not think about the fact that I was mere milliseconds from killing us both?

Of course she didn't.

"I need a moment." I gritted through my teeth, snapping my eyes open and staring at her beautiful, beautiful face. She just nodded mutely, and I could tell she didn't trust herself to speak. She ran her warm hands along my arms and across my chest, and lifted her head slightly to kiss my bare chest.

Bella knew incredibly well how to love me.

I sighed, and steeled myself to begin to push forward again. I felt her contract, and I hissed, but continued to push into her with a fierce determination, agonizingly slow.

Every shift, every movement, left my skin burning from her touch, and made me want so much more. Before long, I reached a barrier, and heard her intake a sharp breath. I looked at her with my eyes twisted in horror.

"Bella," I gasped, my eyes fixed on her face.

"It's okay," she assured me, as I stretched her. "It doesn't hurt anymore."

"_I wonder if it's hard for him to stay still so long or if I'm as hot to him as I feel. You're so beautiful. Not much to say for myself, anyway. Even in all this glory, I still, of course feel completely inadequate._"

"It's not as hard as I thought it would be," I muttered, answering her questions quietly. "You're extremely hot."

Her eyes widened as she looked at me, and comprehension dawned on her face as I stared confusedly at her.

What was going on?

"You're beautiful," I snapped suddenly, glaring at her slightly. "Don't ever say that about yourself."

She continued to stare at me, as I finally understood that she hadn't said anything at all.

"I didn't say anything," she whispered slowly.

I looked at her before gasping.

"Edward, can you read my mind right now?" she asked, confirming my thoughts.

"I think so," I said, slowly, trying to control my excitement. "Your voice came into my head clearly, and it sounded like you were talking to me," I explained.

"You sound like heaven," I added.

She looked at me and smiled, and thought to herself, "_I wish he would move."_

I grinned at her deviously and began to slowly pull myself out until I was at her entrance, then I dragged myself back in again.

I _did_ die with the pleasure that shot through me. Her legs instinctively wrapped around me, and she shifted and I pushed in deeper.

As much as I was trying to drive her crazy, I was doing the same to myself.

We found a rhythm and eventually, Bella shifted and I sped up. I wrapped my arms around her waist, and she began to surprise me in ways that drove me even further into the crazed hell I was in.

She tilted her pelvis up as I pushed in, and down as I pushed out, mixing against my cold skin with her hot, as well as bringing me closer and deeper inside of her.

Understanding the thoughts racing through her mind, I decided to pick one that particularly surprised and appealed to me to act on. I grabbed her right leg and lifted it up, so that it was perched on my shoulder and ground even further than I, and clearly she, thought was possible.

Bella began to think of a numerous other things we could do while in this position, and it made my emotions more erratic than they were.

"You're fucking with me, Bella," I growled as my eyes locked onto her, forgetting all pretenses for chivalry. "You know exactly what you're doing to me."

She gasped, and I laughed quietly, as I focused on what I was doing again.

Bella sighed as we fell into a rhythm again and I began to lose control of my breathing as I forgot about everything but what I was doing.

It was always so easy to forget all pretenses with Bella, to just be, to not worry. I was whole when I was with her, and nothing was anywhere near as satisfying as knowing that I could not live without her.

I could sense that Bella was coming close to being completely undone, and I continued to steadily bury myself as thoroughly inside of her.

She gasped and her eyes rolled back at the pleasure. I was spurred on by this reaction, and felt a powerful jolt of fervor as my lips found her neck. I began to suck on the flesh there, and that combined with the sensations of me inside of her, caused Bella to tremble.

I grunted wildly as I pressed harder still, amazed that I could illicit such a reaction from a girl who kept herself so well put together. I deepened the feeling of me inside of her, yet again putting into action her thoughts.

She needed to control that better.

"Edward," she moaned, as I felt her beginning to unravel.

I could only groan as I continued to press into her. I could feel her physically coming undone, and as she trembled from her release, I continued to press into her until I was surprisingly shaking on top of her, groaning loudly.

As we stopped moving, I slowed my pace back to the agonizingly slow push and pull, and buried my face in her neck.

"Bella," I gasped, breathing into her.

She intertwined her fingers into my hair as I struggled to regain my senses.

"Hmm," she murmured into my hair.

I couldn't process what it was at the moment, but something about that moment made me look up at her and crash my lips against hers, and I felt the hot wetness roll down her cheeks.

She ravaged my lips as she sought to get as close to me as possible, to lose herself in these kisses, these precious moments, and become one with me inside of her.

"I know, love," I murmured into her. "I love you, too."

Tears continued to stream down her face as I understood them to be tears of happiness and not of sadness.

I could not believe as much as she that we had done it, and it was as glorious as I had imaged, if not better.

I heard in that moment what she clearly wanted now.

My head snapped up and I looked at her, searching her eyes with mine.

"Bella," I began, questioning what I heard clearly in her head.

"I'm ready," she promised him.

"_I've fulfilled everything I wanted in my human life, and I'm ready to begin my eternity." _she added silently.

"Are you sure," I asked me warily, unsure if she was overwhelmed, or if she was truly ready. Even being able to see into her mind, I was still a bit baffled.

"Edward," she started. "I've never been more sure in my life."

I looked at her, determining how long it would take Alice and Carlisle to get back to the house. He nodded my head, and pulled out of her sadly to hand her her underwear and my t-shirt.

"Put this on," I said, looking at me.

She struggled to put on the clothes and looked at me, her lips swollen and her face flushed.

God, I would never get over her impeccable beauty.

I reached across her to the bedside table and picked up my cell phone.

"Alice," I stated at once, as she had picked up on the first ring. "It's time."

He listened for a moment as she told me she, Carlisle and the rest of the Cullens would be back within twenty minutes and said, "Okay."

I closed the phone.

He looked at her, and smiled, ready to see the warm flush creep up her soft cheeks for the last time.

To feel her soft skin, warm and inviting underneath me.

To smell her antagonizing scent for the last time.

I would make it worth it. I bent down and kissed her urgently; only too aware this was our last time together like this. Her hands caught in my hair, and before we knew it, I heard Carlisle enter the house downstairs.

"Bella," he called. "Edward?"

I picked me up Bella and brought her downstairs, and we were greeted by Carlisle, Esme and Alice.

Carlisle lay Bella down on the couch, and walked upstairs to his study. I looked at Alice and she ran over to Bella and gave her a very big hug. I stared at her bemused; it wasn't like Bella was going anywhere.

"I love you, Bella," she whispered and kissed her on the cheek.

Carlisle returned at the instant with a kit and pulled out a needle and a clear liquid.

"Its morphine," he explained, filling the tube to the brim with the medication. "So it won't hurt as much."

She nodded as he swiftly stuck my arm. I could see her face turn over, instantly calm and slightly woozy.

I bent down over her, and she smiled at me. I smiled back, and kissed her lightly on the lips.

I could hear Carlisle, Esme and Alice backing out of the room, leaving me and my Bella alone.

"I love you," I whispered, lowering my head to her neck.

Then I sank my teeth into her flesh like butter, kissing it and sealing the puncture with my tongue, and she writhed as the pain it.

I sang her a lullaby.


End file.
